This is an old blog to get you started. It just shows some of the daft things that have happened to me!

Well, I'm a bit accident prone and thought I'd let you know some of my daft stories about my injuries.

I can't remember these first ones but I had a bit of an injury lull for a few years after some big one's as a baby. Maybe I fell on my head too many times, which would explain the way I am!!! I had a line in a show once playing a mad, evil doctor where I say "Do not muse at me worthy friend, I have a strange infirmity, which is nothing to those who know me." That just about sums me up. I digress again. Just tell me to shut up!

I was apparently a regular passenger in the rubber washing basket as a baby but I had more power in my legs at an early age than most could believe (I was walking at age 6 months - or should I say playing football at age 6 months) and I propelled myself out of said basket and hurled myself headfirst down the stairs, cracked my skull on the window ledge at the bottom and had my first visit to hospital for stitches. A few weeks later I (still in my baby-walker) ran into the living room unnoticed as my nana was sorting the coal fire out and put my hand on the Parkray glass. My whearebouts was noticed rather rapidly as the screams were heard after the skin from my tiny little hand stuck to the hot glass. I have a little scar still but I was apparently in a state for a good while.

A few months later I was jumping on the bed having a great old time when I suddenly decided to try jumping at a sideways angle instead of the normal boring up and down style that most normal people settle for. Needless to say I didn't return to my start off position and was stopped in motion as the corner of the bedside table hit the corner of my head. More stitches.

These injuries all took place at my nana's house and I often thought that was such a coincidence but on finding out more about myself in the last few years I now know that it was no coincidence at all as I lived there for my first year! More on that another time!

My final injury as an infant consisted of me almost biting my tongue clean off when I was nearly two. I had fallen over for some reason unbeknownst to those present at the time but came up with a mouth full of blood and half of my tongue hanging off. I was told later that I came close to swallowing it. Nice! Thankfully I have no Hannibal Lector tendencies or indeed any desire to eat my own body parts. The tongue was supposedly stitched (How? I do not know) but healed amazingly well. I still have it! But I reckon they may have given me a bionic tongue and the ability to breathe through my ears at the same time. I discovered this many years later but sadly haven't had cause to put this super human power to good use for a while! See through vision would have been handy as well but you can't have everything!

I then had a number of accident free years other than the usual scratches and scrapes most kids get. One good one was getting kicked in the mouth by Mick Maloney (an accident of course) whilst playing football. He didn't quite kick my teeth in but it would've been better if he had as my brain sensed that that was the case and a tooth came to replace the damaged one whilst the space was still occupied. That was a nice look at that time - double teeth!

Anyway, I took up my hobby again when I was 13 in the summer of 1982. It was a great summer at first and everything was going well. I had been allowed to join in more with older kids with youth club activities and the like which included camping trips away. These were brilliant and I began to feel almost grown up. I was still quite small for my age at the time but I was good at most sports and this gave me an entry pass to most things with the older lads and even with adults.

I had been playing really well in the school football team again but had missed the start of the previous season and the county trials due to a torn thigh muscle! I had been playing for a side on weekends consisting of lads up to two years older than myself and more than held my own despite my size. It was decided though that I should move back to playing against teams of my own age so as to shine even more. This was all arranged and I was chomping at the bit for the new season. This can also be said for the professional season as well because a certain Kevin Keegan had just signed for Newcastle. I'd been taken to the matches by my dad and uncle from the age of 6 and had hardly missed. This was just unreal and the fact that I'd been allowed the previous season to start going with my mates made it that little bit extra special.

All of this was going through my head on Wednesday, 23rd August 1982 as I headed up to St. James' Park with my cousin to buy seat tickets for Keegan's debut. We were going to do it all in style. It was a great feeling having those tickets in our hands and we headed back to his house to have a game of cricket on the sports field with the lads we'd been playing with for the last few days. The lads were all 3 or 4 years older than me but I was quite good at cricket as well so my age didn't matter. The difference this time was that some extra people came to play and they weren't kids. These were adults in their late teens and early twenties. Again, ability wise there was little difference and we just got on with the game.

The game went well but I made the mistake of making a few catches whilst playing in slips behind the wicket. The bowlers were changing thick and fast and then the opposing side brought in a left handed batsman (are you all still awake by the way?). This changed everything. I was playing off a fairly slow bowler against the left hander and was moved closer in and came very close to getting another catch. (You bored yet?! Don't worry it get's better.) This continued for a while then a fast bowler came in. The leftie managed a single and we had a right hander in. Again I was told to come closer so I did and ended up almost at silly point but without a safety helmet! The bowler came up and let loose of the ball at full pace. I remember watching the ball bounce and saw the batsman step to the side turning his torso and whacked the ball with all his might. I don't remember anything else as I was transported into that strange situation that some people talk of. My short life suddenly flashed before my eyes.

I vividly remember falling, not being hit mind you but falling and then stopping in mid air and thinking about something. My first thought was that I hadn't left a message to tell my dad where I was and he'd be coming in from the pit in a hell of a temper! I fell a bit further and stopped again. My mind was taking in pictures from my eyes and what they could see but was taking a while to process these images and wandered off into the reams of memories instead. I remember stopping in mid air as I fell around to the left and caught a distant glimpse of my friend's house over the dene. This triggered memories of school and my early years playing along the stream. I even remembered watching a fight between a spider and a fly on my window ledge when I was about seven. The big fat fly won and managed to get away.

I came to around fifteen minutes later I was told and got gingerly to my feet wondering why everyone was staring at me. I urged everyone to get on with the game but then collapsed again. I think I saw the blood! I was sick, it tasted of the pizza I'd had earlier in town and I didn't eat pizza for years afterwards. I had the taste of blood mixed with it and I was sick again. I had blood coming from my nose and ears as well. The lads around me started to panic and I think a few were sick around me as well. One lad ran off and apparently called for an ambulance - about bloody time! The rest tried to carry/walk me back to my cousin's house. I remember my aunt and some bloke being there but I was in a bloody and undigested pizza covered daze. The ambulance came and I was taken to hospital in South Shields. My mam worked on A and E there at the time and it was pure coincidence apparently that she was on duty at that time for that ambulance. I will never forget her face when she saw who was being carried in. I couldn't speak and just felt sick.

They put me in a room and shone allsorts in my eyes. This just made me worse. I think I lost consciousness a few times but I could still hear what was going on and remember hearing my mam arguing that I was worse than they thought and she wanted something done for me.
They couldn't cope in that hospital and I was rushed by ambulance still in a trance like state to the Newcastle General. More x-rays, tests, shining lights, a cat scan apparently and umpteen doctors poking around me. Even at that age and in that state I remember a beautiful, blonde Australian doctor and I strangely felt content at that point. It didn't last long and I was placed on the ward with allsorts of stuff attached to me.

I didn't move at all for days and I only remember doctors coming in and asking to buy my ticket for the match. My dad wasn't too happy at this I'm told and it was given to a friend of my cousin. A few days later after more tests I was allowed to go home. I had received a left temporal compressed fracture and had also broken bones in my ear and they couldn't do anything for me. I couldn't stand up and felt constantly sick. I was out of the woods though and they told my mam that it could have been a lot worse.

School was due to start and I couldn't get up so I missed the start of the new year. The docs had told me that it would take me a month at least to get back on my feet. They'd meant that literally but I took it to mean playing football again. I had managed to get up walking a few days before that first month was up and I wanted to go to school but my mam wouldn't let me.
The month elapsed and I waited until my mam was at work and my dad in bed from his early shift and I got changed into my football gear and headed off to play with my brother and his mates. In less than a few minutes I had fell over as I started to try to run. My balance had completely failed me as a result of the injury to my left ear and I simply keeled over. I put my left arm out to stop myself and felt a crack. The skin wasn't broken but something was sticking out of my wrist that shouldn't be there. I couldn't move my wrist. I walked back home feeling sick and got in as my dad was coming downstairs. He put me straight in the car and took me to hospital again greeted by my on duty mother. I'd broken my arm.

I had problems with my head for around three years after this. Blackouts, sickness and dizziness. I often just keeled over when running which didn't help my football but thankfully I didn't do myself any serious injury in the process!! I was told by specialists that I had a 50% chance of becoming epileptic but again this hasn't occurred yet, touch wood! It knackered my chances of any career in football and it took me a while to get to the same level. It was too late by that time. Ho hum! I'll never know! My confidence began to wane partly as a result and this time coincided with my demands for answers regarding my heritage. My stutter developed at this time along with a new found nervousness. Lovely!

It wasn't all bad though. The funny thing was that whilst I was off school they'd had a mass for me and when I returned some of the kids shat themselves cos they'd assumed I'd died!!! I thought that was fucking hilarious!

The other thing was that I was still at my teacher's pet stage and was loved by most of the female teachers. My new form teacher was lovely and with me now being a teenager I concentrated particularly on her ample breast rather than lessons. The added pleasure of being sat at the front so she could keep an eye on me as well as constant bending over me in tight figure hugging blouses with a few undone buttons made my whole experience of school so worthwhile. Injuries can have their advantages!! ;)

New blog spot!

Well, I may be writing some new stories and revisiting some old one's as well. Hope you have a look and enjoy.

Cheers

TW